If you’re reading this, I’m not going to rehash all the things that are going on in the world right now. You already know. You know too well.
I’m going to weigh in but only to say this: We will overcome.
I believe we will overcome because Our Savior has overcome the world. We don’t have to be afraid. There will always be adversity in this life, and this is just another one. I reject the notion that this one thing is going to change how we as people have operated for centuries. We’ll still go to sporting events and concerts and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other fans. We’ll still shake hands with business associates and acquaintances. We’ll still hug our friends and strangers. Because we’re humans, and humans were created for community. I reject the fear mongering and the rhetoric. Listen to that still small voice. What is He telling you?
This is aggression from the enemy and that aggression will not stand.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NKJV
Brokenness is usually seen as a bad thing. People want to “fix” you or help you “put yourself back together.” Maybe we should change our mindset about brokenness. My friend attended our church’s annual Women’s Retreat. They were given the following letter among others but this is what stuck out to me.
My favorite part is Jesus’s glory shines through the cracks. Your brokenness doesn’t have to define you or take over your life. If you lay it at Jesus’s feet, he will use it for good.
Yes, I have cracks and they are a part of who I am as a person. Those experiences have helped me get to where I am today. I want the light coming through those cracks to shine on the people around me. Depression is not my weakness. Jesus will use it as my strength. There are a lot of people out there who need to know that it’s okay to be broken. Medication and therapy are necessary but giving it to Jesus is the only way I know to truly heal. Let Him be your healer.
The last couple months have been a bit of a slippery ride. I had a freak-out in February and ended up at the psychiatrist’s office. He bumped my Lex and put me on Abilify, which is an anti-psychotic, by the way. I think that officially makes be the craziest. Yassss… but I digress.
He put me on Abilify to combat the lack of motivation and energy. And it worked. Boy, did it work. I had energy to burn. I was churning out tax returns and cleaning out closets and doing yard work. And then I just… crashed. The first time I thought it was the Ambien. I had a horrible night’s sleep and had to take a “mental health” day from work. I thought it was a fluke. Until the second time. This time I went low, both physically and emotionally. You ever read about people with depression not being able to get out of bed? Yep, that was me. It was a weird kind of numb. I had to call in for a real mental health day. And the swing was intense. One day I’m up at 6 and the next I’m sleeping ‘til noon. My mood has been going up and down but it really went down that day.
You know, I should be worried sick about all the work on my desk but I’m just… not. I can’t care about a bit of it. On the one hand, I’m glad that I’m not worrying like I have in past years. On the other, I don’t have a lot of motivation to do returns. Eek.
I suspect the Abilify. That’s okay, we’ll get it straightened out. They say when you’re going through hell, keep going. And I will. I just have to navigate the wet floor for a while.