Corporate Accounting Is the New Public Accounting

E-mails from Management

Dear General Managers of our properties,

You are the most important people in this organization.  The Headquarters and everyone who works there exist to serve you at all levels.  You are not responsible for anything that is sent to Corporate Accounting.  They will fix any mistakes and you should not worry about them.  If something is wrong please feel free to reach out to Corporate Accounting with as nasty an email message as possible.

Dear Property Accountants,

You are the keepers of the company.  You are special!  You may make all the mistakes you like.  You are not responsible for them or anything for that matter.  Corporate Accounting’s sole purpose is to serve you and clean up all your messes.  If they have the audacity to contradict this or complain about it, you are entitled to throw a hissy fit and remind them of how many hours you work and how special and important you are to this company.

Dear Accounts Payable,

You are data entry personnel only.  You are not responsible for following up with the GMs, vendors, etc.  You are not responsible for any mistakes that waste Corporate Accounting’s time.  Likewise, you do not have to do your job until Corporate Accounting reminds you to do it.  If Corporate Accounting makes claims to the contrary, please act nonchalant and remind them at you are “data entry.”

Notice to All Employees (!High Importance!)

Management is not responsible for anything.  Please address any and all complaints to Kim Who Lives at Home in Corporate Accounting.

This might be a slight exaggeration but it’s been a rough week and somebody had to take the hit.  Happy Weekend!

Between the Lines

I’ve come to the realization that I’m not quite over what happened early in 2017 when I ended up leaving my last job.  Please indulge me.

My last performance review:

Dear Kim Who Lives at Home,

You do your job reasonably well and are now 30 years old.  However, we are still going to treat you like you are the 23 year old girl just out of college and are in no way as competent as everyone else in this firm despite evidence to the contrary.  We are informing you that you are mean, have a bad attitude, and have hurt the very delicate feelings of a very privileged co-worker.  We are oblivious to the fact that we are being manipulated by an over-grown teenager.  Also, we in no way acknowledge all the hard work and dedication you have shown over the years and have saved your performance review to the end to emphasize the fact that you suck.

Sincerely,

Management

My resignation letter:

Dear Management,

I hereby tender my resignation in response to my unfair and insulting performance review of a few weeks ago.  I want to let you know that I put up with targeted bullying from your office manager for over seven years and was repeatedly ignored while you condoned her behavior.  In addition, you gave preferential treatment to every employee besides myself by shunting work onto me and making unreasonable demands of me.  I also endured a year where you hired someone to replace me and then left me to train her on work I should have been trained properly on myself.  You then lied to me a few weeks ago when I confronted you about this past situation.  It is for the aforementioned reasons that I am seeking employment elsewhere.  I will make a special effort to roll over my 401K as quickly as possible so that your wealth care department will not benefit from the management fees it incurs.

Sincerely,

Kim Who Lives at Home

I know, I know, I’m harboring a wee bit of resentment.  I’m trying, okay?  But Rome wasn’t built…yeah, you know how it goes.

Never Enough

A while back the pastor at my church asked an interesting question.  He said, “What if you said to God, even if nothing else happens in my whole life, this is enough?”

I have been so blessed and though nothing this side of heaven will ever be perfect, I’m in a good place.  I went through a tough time changing jobs and dealing with some rough depression but despite all that I did say, Yes, this is enough.  I have been used by You and I’m loved by You and that’s enough.

But my God is so much bigger and so much better and wants so much more for me.  I stepped out in faith when I quit my job last spring.  I stepped out when I took this job.  I was obedient and I was content.  And just like that He called again.

During my unemployment I started volunteering with the kids at the local children’s shelter and was so blessed by them.  I got busy making the transition to a new workplace and took a break but now He’s calling me back there.  Someone there needs something I have to give.  I don’t know where it will lead but I’m excited to have the opportunity to serve the most high God.  Because what I’ve learned on this journey so far, being content with where you are is never enough for Him.

Corporate Sellout

Remember when I said I was quitting my job to be a writer?  Well, turns out that idleness doesn’t suit me.  And I’m not the most self-motivated.  (I haven’t written for this blog in…well, let’s not talk about it.)  So I’m back in accounting but this time in the corporate world.

It’s somewhat different from public accounting and it’s challenging, but I like it.  It’s a great place to work.  We develop and manage hotels which means I get discounts all over the country.  Pretty nice perk.  Nothing’s perfect but here’s some high points.

  1. I park in a garage.  I was a little leery at first because we all know parking garages can be dangerous but it seems okay.  And the best part is you don’t have to wrestle your umbrella into the car when it’s raining.
  2. There’s good security.  You have to have a security badge to make the elevator go up to the fourth floor.  With all the shootings on the news, it makes me feel good that they take our safety seriously.
  3. The bathroom is fancy.  I mean, listen, each stall is it’s own little room.  It’s always spotless and there’s always enough TP.  It matters to me considering where I came from you couldn’t tell if the toilets were even swished at night.  But anyway…
  4. There’s a gym.  Not that I frequent it but still it’s there if I suddenly become athletically inclined.  It would be a good excuse to go shopping though.

Like I said, nothing’s perfect and there are definitely cons but I know this is where God wants me because no matter how frustrated I get or how hard it is to adapt to a new environment and new people, I’m just so happy I’m not where I was before.  Change is hard, but change is good.  And at the end of the day, every day, I know that change is exactly what I needed.

Less Talkie, More Dancie

You know what?  I wish someone would remake Dirty Dancing and explain every plot point in excruciating detail and add a whole bunch of unnecessary info about Mr. and Mrs. Houseman.  Oh, wait.

Yeah, so, if you watched the ABC remake, you know what I’m talking about.  And if you didn’t, don’t.

Oh, M. goodness.  For reals, y’all, I couldn’t believe the amount of talking that went on in that movie.  It was so boring and I think we saw way more of Mrs. Houseman than we did of Johnny.  Colt Prattes was beyond uncharismatic as Johnny and Abigail Breslin as Baby looked like she was 12.  There was ZERO chemistry between them.

Baby is well-read and a feminist and she gets her sister to read and…ZZZ.  Mrs. Houseman is a neglected housewife and they’re getting a divorce and…ZZZ.  Lisa is really awesome and doesn’t resent her sister and wants to have a relationship with the rapey waiter AND the black guy and…ZZZ.  And wait, wait, wait. Baby and Johnny DON’T end up together?!  She has to go see him on Broadway and reminisce about their summer of love?  Sigh.

And to top it all off, there was a serious lack of choreography.  I mean, not only do you have Johnny and Baby singing at the end, they don’t dance at all!  The only decent dance number was in the staff house toward the beginning and that was the rest of the cast.  The “stars” could not dance.  At all.

The best thing was Baby sitting in the corner reading The Bell Jar, because she’s, you know, sad and stuff.  Ha!

This was a complete disaster of a remake.  If you haven’t seen the original Dirty Dancing, I suggest you watch it immediately.  I promise it’s amazing.  Insert a “time of your life” joke here.

 

Book Review: Into the Water

I got the new Paula Hawkins novel, Into the Water, thanks to Book of the Month extras.  Just like her debut, The Girl on the Train, I couldn’t put it down.

It’s a quick read and it looks longer than it is in hardback format.  The type is large and the chapters are short.  It moves back and forth between narrators with speed and skill.  I’m normally not a fan of that but Ms. Hawkins does it really well.  I do admit that it was a little confusing at first trying to place everyone into the narrative but I think that was part of the point.  This book really makes you lose your bearings, very much like the characters.

I enjoyed the tight family drama and the suspense.  It kept me reading and I’m sad it’s over.  That’s what a good book should do.  I definitely recommend Into the Water to lovers of grip-lit like myself but I also recommend it to anyone who likes a well-told story.

Who Am I?

It’s been nearly a month since I left my job and it’s been both awesome and stressful.  I keep going back and forth from “I’m so glad I left” to “Holy crap! Why’d I leave the comfort of a full-time job?”

After a recent church class I realized that my angst is tied up in identity.  Who am I now? Who am I if I’m not Kim the tax accountant?

I’m Kim, Who Lives at Home.  I’m Kim, the aspiring author.  I’m Kim, who volunteers with kids. I’m Kim, who wants to work with kids.  I have to remind myself of that everyday, sometimes several times a day.

I do have plans but I want to take it one week at a time.  God has told me he wants me to spend more time in prayer and I’m making an effort.  I realize that I have to be patient and wait for Him to tell me where to go next.  The last thing I want is to screw this whole thing up.  This time is a gift from God and I’m not going to squander it.