I must admit that I’m no expert at online dating profiles.  (Is there such a thing?)  But I have seen some sad shit on these dating sights.  Here are a few of the things that get under my skin.

 1.      Not writing enough

I hate it when guys won’t answer the questions on the form.  Those questions are there for a reason.  So you can let people know something about you and get them interested.  I have seen profiles where they only write a couple sentences about themselves that really says nothing and then answer something completely stupid and random.  Saying that you have a job and love sports and you’re a Libra tells me nothing.  Call me crazy but I think not taking the time to fill out the questions makes you lazy or stupid or both. 

 2.      Writing too much

Saying too much is just as bad as not saying enough.  Seriously, dude, save the details for the date.  I don’t want to wade through a ridiculously long profile.  There’s got to be a medium in there somewhere.

 3.      Waiting forever to have a face-to-face date

It happens all the time.  We run out of things to talk about because we’ve been e-mailing/texting/talking on the phone for weeks before we actually meet.  No wonder there’s no chemistry.  Can we please just meet if we’re both interested and find out if anything’s there before we waste all that time?

 4.      Weird hobbies

I’m not talking about anything unseemly here just things that don’t make a whole lot of sense.  I saw a profile where a guy listed “sitting on a rock and analyzing my life” as a hobby.  How is that a hobby?  I’m guilty of analyzing my life to a ridiculous degree but I don’t consider that a hobby.  In my case it’s more of a handicap.  I also want to ask this guy if he can analyze his life if he’s not sitting on a rock or if the rock is a requirement.  Oh, and by the way, going to gym doesn’t qualify either.

 5.      Unrealistic expectations

These guys list out their perfect dream girl and then have the attitude of “if you’re not this perfect person, don’t even bother.”  You know, that really just pisses me off.  Well, if you can’t just meet someone and see who they are without comparing them to a ludicrous standard then you’re going to be alone for a long time, buddy.  One example, a guy wrote that he constantly pushes himself and he has to have a girl who wants to be pushed too.  So, you’re only going to be happy with a workaholic who can’t be content with what they have?  What a weird thing to say.

 6.      Not posting any pictures

If you don’t post a picture, it makes me think you have something to hide.  There’s someone for everyone.  Just post the picture and let the chips fall.

7.      The inordinate amount of fitness buffs

Why does every guy on these things talk about how much he loves hiking, cycling, working out, mountain climbing, rafting, and running marathons?  All of these, not just one or two.  Is it supposed to be impressive?  Am I supposed to swoon because a guy like that would be super ripped?  I think most of these guys are lying to some extent.  It’s good that you take care of yourself but I’m not that athletic.  And I’m looking for a husband, not a personal trainer.

8.      Old Dudes

It’s totally cool that you’re over 50 and trying to find love again but stop hitting on me.  I’m 26 and I have no interest in anyone over 35.  And I find it creepy that you list your acceptable age range from 18-30.  Yeah, that’s not going to happen.