The third E-Harmony date went something like this:
He was 24 and a lawyer. He was also going back to school to get his MBA. Not sure why someone who’s already a lawyer at 24 needs an MBA but whatever. He was originally from Tennessee. Okay, that may not seem like a big deal but if you read my blog about my first E-Harmony date, you’ll remember that he was from Tennessee. My high school boyfriend was, too. So at this point I have dated a total of 4 guys and 3 of them have been from fucking Tennessee. What are the odds on that?
Anyway, we met at a pizza place. The conversation was pleasant. It wasn’t until I looked back on it that I realized he spent most of the meal bitching about his job and his pro bono work helping a fraternity get a house. I mentioned that I was an accountant. His first question, knowing nothing else about my career, was “When are you going to sit?” Um, did I say I was trying to become a CPA? Did I say I had any desire to become a CPA? Now, granted, at that time, I had just left a Masters of Accountancy program and the issue was kind of a hang up for me. I had decided not to pursue the CPA but still had people trying to convince me to change my mind. My point is, it was a sensitive subject but it was still weird that he asked that particular question. As if being a staff accountant wasn’t good enough and he assumed that no one could be happy with something as pedestrian as that. He then goes off on a tangent about the death tax and when he’s done rambling he stares at me, waiting for a response. I give a non-committal Uh-huh. He then says, “Oh, I was going to get you to weigh in on it.” Dude, I just graduated from college and I’m doing my best to learn my job but that doesn’t mean I spend my free time reading up on random tax issues.
So I steered away from that as quickly as possible. I asked one of my go-to get-to-know-you questions, What’s your favorite movie? I’m convinced that you can tell a lot about a person by their entertainment choices. He rambled a little bit, something about “stock guy answers like The Godfather or Gladiator.” (Fucking Gladiator again!) Then he said, “Yeah, The Godfather.” Okay, so you just said that’s a stock guy answer but it’s still your favorite movie. If it’s your favorite movie, then own it. Don’t make some weird excuse for it. Whatever.
Again I agree to continue the date when I really shouldn’t have been wasting my time. Remember that I was desperate for a relationship and was willing to give anything a chance. I didn’t want to throw something good away on a less-than-perfect first impression. We went to a bar for a drink.
I don’t remember who brought up the topic of religion but there it was. I said I liked the non-denominational church but missed the ritual of the Methodist church. He says that he majored in Political and Theological Philosophy in college and proceeded to expound on the issue. Dude, I don’t know about you but I came for a date, not a lecture. Then he gets into politics and continues lecturing about issues. I finally wrap up the date and leave.
When I looked back at the date I realized that this guy was an over-educated, self-important, pompous twat. He e-mailed me four days later and asked for a second date. You’ll be happy to know that I had enough self-respect to turn him down. An e-mail after four days isn’t being interested, it’s an afterthought. Somehow, I just think I deserve more than that. Sue me.