The third E-Harmony date went something like this:

He was 24 and a lawyer.  He was also going back to school to get his MBA.  Not sure why someone who’s already a lawyer at 24 needs an MBA but whatever.  He was originally from Tennessee.  Okay, that may not seem like a big deal but if you read my blog about my first E-Harmony date, you’ll remember that he was from Tennessee.  My high school boyfriend was, too.  So at this point I have dated a total of 4 guys and 3 of them have been from fucking Tennessee.  What are the odds on that?

Anyway, we met at a pizza place.  The conversation was pleasant.  It wasn’t until I looked back on it that I realized he spent most of the meal bitching about his job and his pro bono work helping a fraternity get a house.  I mentioned that I was an accountant.  His first question, knowing nothing else about my career, was “When are you going to sit?”  Um, did I say I was trying to become a CPA?  Did I say I had any desire to become a CPA?  Now, granted, at that time, I had just left a Masters of Accountancy program and the issue was kind of a hang up for me.  I had decided not to pursue the CPA but still had people trying to convince me to change my mind.  My point is, it was a sensitive subject but it was still weird that he asked that particular question.  As if being a staff accountant wasn’t good enough and he assumed that no one could be happy with something as pedestrian as that.  He then goes off on a tangent about the death tax and when he’s done rambling he stares at me, waiting for a response.  I give a non-committal Uh-huh.  He then says, “Oh, I was going to get you to weigh in on it.”  Dude, I just graduated from college and I’m doing my best to learn my job but that doesn’t mean I spend my free time reading up on random tax issues.

So I steered away from that as quickly as possible.  I asked one of my go-to get-to-know-you questions, What’s your favorite movie?  I’m convinced that you can tell a lot about a person by their entertainment choices.  He rambled a little bit, something about “stock guy answers like The Godfather or Gladiator.”   (Fucking Gladiator again!)  Then he said, “Yeah, The Godfather.”  Okay, so you just said that’s a stock guy answer but it’s still your favorite movie.  If it’s your favorite movie, then own it.  Don’t make some weird excuse for it.  Whatever.

Again I agree to continue the date when I really shouldn’t have been wasting my time.  Remember that I was desperate for a relationship and was willing to give anything a chance.  I didn’t want to throw something good away on a less-than-perfect first impression.  We went to a bar for a drink.

I don’t remember who brought up the topic of religion but there it was.  I said I liked the non-denominational church but missed the ritual of the Methodist church.  He says that he majored in Political and Theological Philosophy in college and proceeded to expound on the issue.  Dude, I don’t know about you but I came for a date, not a lecture.  Then he gets into politics and continues lecturing about issues.  I finally wrap up the date and leave. 

When I looked back at the date I realized that this guy was an over-educated, self-important, pompous twat.  He e-mailed me four days later and asked for a second date.  You’ll be happy to know that I had enough self-respect to turn him down.  An e-mail after four days isn’t being interested, it’s an afterthought.  Somehow, I just think I deserve more than that.  Sue me.