The third E-Harmony date went something like this:
He was 24 and a lawyer. He was also going back to school to get his MBA. Not sure why someone who’s already a lawyer at 24 needs an MBA but whatever. He was originally from Tennessee. Okay, that may not seem like a big deal but if you read my blog about my first E-Harmony date, you’ll remember that he was from Tennessee. My high school boyfriend was, too. So at this point I have dated a total of 4 guys and 3 of them have been from fucking Tennessee. What are the odds on that?
Anyway, we met at a pizza place. The conversation was pleasant. It wasn’t until I looked back on it that I realized he spent most of the meal bitching about his job and his pro bono work helping a fraternity get a house. I mentioned that I was an accountant. His first question, knowing nothing else about my career, was “When are you going to sit?” Um, did I say I was trying to become a CPA? Did I say I had any desire to become a CPA? Now, granted, at that time, I had just left a Masters of Accountancy program and the issue was kind of a hang up for me. I had decided not to pursue the CPA but still had people trying to convince me to change my mind. My point is, it was a sensitive subject but it was still weird that he asked that particular question. As if being a staff accountant wasn’t good enough and he assumed that no one could be happy with something as pedestrian as that. He then goes off on a tangent about the death tax and when he’s done rambling he stares at me, waiting for a response. I give a non-committal Uh-huh. He then says, “Oh, I was going to get you to weigh in on it.” Dude, I just graduated from college and I’m doing my best to learn my job but that doesn’t mean I spend my free time reading up on random tax issues.
So I steered away from that as quickly as possible. I asked one of my go-to get-to-know-you questions, What’s your favorite movie? I’m convinced that you can tell a lot about a person by their entertainment choices. He rambled a little bit, something about “stock guy answers like The Godfather or Gladiator.” (Fucking Gladiator again!) Then he said, “Yeah, The Godfather.” Okay, so you just said that’s a stock guy answer but it’s still your favorite movie. If it’s your favorite movie, then own it. Don’t make some weird excuse for it. Whatever.
Again I agree to continue the date when I really shouldn’t have been wasting my time. Remember that I was desperate for a relationship and was willing to give anything a chance. I didn’t want to throw something good away on a less-than-perfect first impression. We went to a bar for a drink.
I don’t remember who brought up the topic of religion but there it was. I said I liked the non-denominational church but missed the ritual of the Methodist church. He says that he majored in Political and Theological Philosophy in college and proceeded to expound on the issue. Dude, I don’t know about you but I came for a date, not a lecture. Then he gets into politics and continues lecturing about issues. I finally wrap up the date and leave.
When I looked back at the date I realized that this guy was an over-educated, self-important, pompous twat. He e-mailed me four days later and asked for a second date. You’ll be happy to know that I had enough self-respect to turn him down. An e-mail after four days isn’t being interested, it’s an afterthought. Somehow, I just think I deserve more than that. Sue me.
I’m enjoying your tales of online dating…. not because I’m happy you’ve been on crappy dates, but because I’ve been there! So. Many. Times. Nobody should ever grill a date about their job or career goals.
Thanks so much! I must have just been dating pompous guys because they all seemed to have something to say about my decision to not be a CPA. I had a phone date last year that felt more like an interview. I didn’t even go out with that guy.
[…] Interviewer When you date online you get a lot of weirdos and snobs but I think it’s something special when you find someone who is both a weirdo and a snob. This […]